Week 35: AI Fails 95% of Everything, Tesla Deletes Evidence, Drive-Thrus Outsmarted

THE FAILURE CLUB

Welcome to the elite club where almost everything fails — and membership is mandatory. This week proved that AI's success rate makes lottery tickets look like sound investments. From enterprise pilots crashing before takeoff to Tesla playing hide-and-seek with corpses, we're building the future one spectacular failure at a time. The good news? At least we're consistent.

FAILING UPWARD, DOWNWARD, SIDEWAYS
Drive-Thru Bot Gets Punked as Taco Bell reconsiders AI ordering after customers exploit it for 18,000 water cups, proving humans remain undefeated at gaming stupid systems. Enterprise AI Achieves 95% Failure with Salesforce creating a "flight simulator" to combat the industry's spectacular inability to make pilots work in production. Reality Finally Shows Up as analysts detect a "vibe shift" from AI hype to AI skepticism, with Max Read asking if the bubble's first cracks are showing.

HIDING THE EVIDENCE
Microsoft Quietly Dumps OpenAI by building its own foundational models for Copilot, pr…